Have you you've ever wondered what it could be like to set limits and discipline kids without a lot of drama? Here’s a demonstration of how the flow of using the ACT Model could look. It takes practice to be able to flow with this and know what to say, so give yourself some time and practice to get used to it.

These are some ideas I keep in mind to help me stay on track:

Always keep the alternatives connected to what you want to have happen

• How do you WANT them to talk to you

• Ex: "You can choose to tell me you're mad or that you don't like it"

• How do you WANT them to deal with angry feelings

• Ex: “You can choose to tear this cardboard or break these popsicle sticks”

• What do you WANT them to be doing now

• Ex: "You can choose to put on one shoe and hop to the car or carry your shoes to the car to put them both on inside”

I try to offer two choices, so that I increase the chance of compliance but if you only have one, it's fine. Move on afterward, don't restart the fight or stay engaged in a battle.

Think of a few things to use for an ultimate limit if they refuse to choose or keep engaging in the negative behavior. It works best to keep the ultimate limit connected to what happened and for it to last less than 24 hours. (The more immediate, the better!)

• “If you choose to keep shooting me, you choose to give up the guns for today”

• “If you choose to throw the remote, you choose to give up tv for today”

• “If you choose to break that, you choose to take a time out”

If you missed the description of what the ACT Model is and how it works, here is the video: